BSD
Administrator
The words that began to pour from the man's mouth were confusing. Head still bowed, eyes intent upon the dark stones beneath their feet, she listened in silent awe. During his processing she was uncertain of what to think of the man himself and had put little thought into such. It did not matter. Mulling over this thought as it crossed her mind, it made her wonder. If this held true, and she knew as much, why was she there? It had felt right to inform her Captain. It had also seemed to her that the man who had lost three of his members should know the truth of it. Yet something else lie beneath all these things that she had told herself, that had led her to be standing in that place. A fact that she had tucked away and refused to see; could not bear to look at.
Receiving no instruction to stand nor move she did neither. Though remaining aware of what was happening around her, she allowed her thoughts to roam. Clawing its way to a revelation she was not prepared for. Perhaps she would never come to that conclusion. It was possible she would have continued to fumble along without realizing what her actions had truly meant. Despite that moment which in itself should have made it so very clear. Instead, her Captain was the one. It was likely he did not glean this within her. That he saw her as a fool and a liability for her actions. She had behaved stupidly, rashly. Had put lives in danger. Why?
Not one inch. Her body remained rigid from the moment she had first felt the flare of the Captain's reiatsu. His target could have been misunderstood by those around them, but it wasn't to her for even an instant. For her the world became silent. No resistance as the creature summoned by Kyomu came for her, nor when it split and lifted her body from its bowing stance. Pulling at her, wrapping about her neck. Giving her no ability to speak even if she had wanted to. His words stung, though held no truth for her. She felt no pride in the actions she had taken. Had expected no praise from either Captain and certainly did not foresee the man giving a confession due to her speaking. The lid was opening. Underneath and behind everything she had made and done, something dark had been festering.
His words reached her ears yet felt miles away. Simply absorbing them, nothing in her denying any fact he had said so harshly. What had brought her here? Tighter around her neck, any chance to gasp for air was now gone. He no longer spoke. The phantom beings surrounding her moved her limp body about. Not a single limb moved in struggle. She had not lifted a finger to grasp at what had begun to take her life from her. As Kyomu's voice left the empty space that was currently her world, another took its place. A voice she seldom heard. One that had come last when she had bared her throat to the very same man who bound her now.
"Isn't this what you wanted?
A more commanding voice came once more. Blank hues settled upon his chin, hardly moving at all yet holding a firm resolve. One she lacked. So much so she could not even look the man in the eye for all the harm she had done to him and his squad. It was no longer her place to say it was theirs, nor hers. He had proclaimed as much. Only for her to be dumped on the stone floor. There was no retaliation here, either. Like one already dead she had simply slumped down, inert as he continued on. She wasn't sure how it was possible, but he sounded even farther away. Attempting to process how she was still alive she found herself surrounded.
Making no attempt to ward them off nor to recapture her former Captain's attention she allowed them to pull her along. Following the strange orders they had been given. Practically dragged, in her eyes it was decades before they reached her barracks.
There was much and more she could not comprehend. How she still drew breath was the biggest mystery of all to her. However, Yoru Onkyō's words were very clear. Scenery passed them by, her staggering and dazed steps bringing her ever closer to what was no longer her room. She had gone into that place with a simple thought. A death wish. Feeling so resolved to prove her worth, this growing urge was locked away. Deep down, she knew what she could not truly accept. What Kyomu had known for quite some time. A knowing he had likely felt when she offered to die at his hand before. Maybe he had been burdened by pity for the groveling woman or perhaps he had hoped that time would change it.
They took care to not simply toss the woman into the room though made sure to be forceful enough for her to be aware they would not pack for her nor would they continue to hold her as she did so. She expected nothing less. The support she had received on the trip there had not been for comfort or out of any emotion but simply following the orders they were given to get her to where she was. Glazed over eyes scanned the room. Mostly, she was already packed. She had not spent much time in the room since she had made the choice to leave the Division before. Sent to the Rukongai, delivering reports. The longest amount was spent cutting her hair, a mess that still surrounded her. Taking hold of a bulky cloak she quickly adorned it, covering what she could of the colors she had so proudly displayed about her waist. The tabi she wore could not be covered so simply, the orange of Second a streak that surrounded each shoe. She would remedy this soon, though would take no more of their time than necessary in sitting down to take the sewn decorations away.
Sliding her foot along the floor sideways as she moved about she swept the hair on the floor into a pile as she gathered the few of her belongings that were not still in the one simple bag. Certain this was all she owned, the weight of the duffel bared down upon her shoulders and she turned to face her former comrades. Stepping out of the room they surrounded her once more, assuring she would not try to take flight. She could not blame them for their suspicion. They would not question the man but she was sure the same uncertainty filled them all in the moment. Why was this woman being allowed to walk out alive? Though not enough to demolish Second, there were certainly things she knew that could damage them. Create another disaster like their former Third Seat had done by allowing so many prisoners to escape. If he had suffered her to live, why let her leave the Maggot's Nest at all?
Reaching the gates she was pushed outside of them, just after her Zanpakuto was thrust into her hands. Not quite a harsh shove, though the intention behind it clear. Remaining still she listened to the sounds of the doors shutting behind her for the last time. Despite what they thought of her, regardless of the devious nature they wondered if she could harbor, Kyomu had shown her behind the veil. He had revealed her own self to her. More than she had been willing to accept. He had known. He had hoped she could change but the doubt had always been there. For good reason.
Kazumi remembered in Academy. Long ago there was a woman within Second. Strong and brave, a ruthless assassin. This woman had become a model for her new life. Powerless when she was alive, unable to even conceive of doing such things. She longed to be as powerful as the woman had been. She wished she had been in a time when she could have met her. That had driven her to Second, despite what teachers had said to her. Despite what she knew deep down about herself.
Entering the Maggot's Nest she had placed herself directly in the way of danger by giving such a report with no discretion. She could explain it any way she wanted but there was no denying this. Her respect and loyalty made her act as a human shield for Kyomu if the other Captain were to attack, but if she had not thought he would react in such a way, then why would she have placed herself between them? Kazumi was almost certain that Kyomu knew she would fail within Second. She had known that as well, but had been too much of a coward to face it. Instead she had put her life in danger, and, unforgivably, she had put Kyomu's life in danger. He had every reason to strike her down for this simple fact alone. He should have locked her away for all the potential there could be for her to give the secrets of Second she held within her now that she was outside of their barracks.
Therein was something else she could not deny. Kyomu had known her better than even she. Kazumi had so brazenly given a report that should not have been revealed in that moment but would have eventually. She had not given away a secret of Second. She believed he was fully aware that he would never have to concern himself with her doing so. But more than that. He knew she would never carve a place for herself in Second. It was not in her nature, the same as the deviousness and callousness that would be required to reveal what she knew about Second was not in her nature.
Perhaps he did not view it in such a light. Perhaps she seemed so utterly useless, worthless and pitiful that he could not bring himself to kill her. Could not imagine her committing such treason against them. His true thoughts would lie with him. She would most likely never hear them. Just as he would likely never hear the words she wished to say to him.
"Thank you,"
He had released her. Her loyalty would not allow her to abandon Second, which only led to self destructive behavior that endangered those around her. She would not give up. So he gave her up. And he gave her a future. He was not wrong that she held no potential as an assassin. But he must have seen her being capable of something, otherwise she would not have stepped outside of the Maggot's Nest, breathing or not. It was a gift, and one she would not take for granted. Not like she had taken his pity and forgiveness before. She could not stand beside him. But she would show him one day what she had done with what he had granted her. And he would not regret his decision. Murmuring her gratitude once more she took one small step, then another. Uncertain of where she planned to go, yet she would move forward all the same. He had removed the lid. Lifted the veil. Her death wish was gone. Her delusions of a life within Second were shattered. But she would continue on. He had given her more resolve than she thought herself capable of. And the soft sound filled the quiet area as she took another step forward, facing an unknown future, but a future all the same.
